The invites are out!
And yet, I feel mixed about it. I thought I would be giddy and excited and thrilled and a feeling of reality would wash over me. But instead I picked a fight with the FI and stomped to the mail box on my way to work to shove them in before slamming the door shut. I even pouted a little bit.
I had a vision of how I wanted it to go. Well, there was my first vision and my second vision. And then there was reality.
Vision 1: I take them to the post office and a man with white gloves takes each one individually, lovingly, and caresses them and appreciates all of the detail and the love that went into each one of them. There might even be some classical music playing in the background. Perhaps an angel or two singing "Hallelujah" I spent so much time and energy on each one it felt so good to have someone else appreciate them as much as I do!
Reality Check 1: No one, ESPECIALLY, the post office workers care that much about my invitation.
Vision 2: FI and I walk to the mail box together, giddy and excited about sharing our wedding with those that we love. He video tapes the whole thing for our wedding video and we are silly and laughing and so excited that reality is hitting.
Reality Check 2: See Reality Check 1... this includes your fiance.
Reality: We can't do it after work because it's dark outside. So I have to wake him up and he's groggy and can't find the tape and I'm late for work and frustrated now. So we stomp to the box and I chuck them in and then I cry in frustration and my poor fiance looks at me with those wide deer eyes that scream "What happened?!"
I think I didn't want to let those invitations go. Not because that makes it real. But because I poured myself into each and every one of them to go chuck them in a box. Boo. On the other hand, it feels like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. Another piece of the puzzle that fits right into the grand scheme. Feels good.
Silver Lining: now RSVP's come back and that's going to be exciting!