Are You Or Aren't You?!

I currently believe that the guest list is the most difficult part of the wedding. That and budgets. Damn these logistic barriers to the happiest day of your life!

Some days I think that we are totally and completely screwed. I think that every single person that we invited is going to show up at our front door and want in to our tiny little room. There are 150 people invited, and our space can only hold 74. More on that later.

Then the next day, I think that we are totally and completely screwed. Again. But in a different way. This day I think that NO ONE is going to show up. I think that no one really likes us and who is going to fly across the country for us in January! It's just after Christmas. That was stupid. Who the hell is planning this wedding? opps...

See, there were quite a few courtesy invites. You know, people that we have to invite because those are the rules, but you know that they're not going to come because they never go anywhere, much less travelling across the country to the big scary city of Los Angeles. I'm from North Carolina, he's from Boston. It's a big expense to pick up and spend a few days in a big city. So, I knew that these were invites to make sure that people felt included, but since they weren't going to be able to make it, it would be OK. Everyone is happy!

Well, apparently some of these courtesy invites weren't so much a courtesy and more of just a regular old invite. There are 5 people that I had NO CLUE would even consider coming. And now they're excited about a little vacation in a warmer climate. The more the merrier! Except when the merry folks don't fit in a room and have to eat their stuffed chicken standing up while leaning against the wall because the room is t-tiny.

I crunched some numbers and it looks to be ok. If all tables are packed at 10 guests (and they're 66" rounds {weird}) we should be good. We might even have 5 extra seats. That would be good. 5 extra. I love extra.

Keeping the fingers crossed that the RSVP gods are looking out for us and a few no's roll in. So far, it's 8 yes, 1 no.

Insurance

Insurance. Warranty. It's a ridiculously expensive endeavor, and yet, totally there for you when you need it the most. It seems that I have been relying on things that seemed so meaningless when first purchased.

I bought a new car (well, new to me) last week. WOOOOO. As long as money is flying out of all of my orifices as the wedding approaches I might as well add another t-tiny-itty-bitty-little bill to my arsenal.

That's her! Well, not her, because I found that photo on the internet. It looks just like her, but it's not her. Because my new car is back at the dealer. Because her transmission slipped on Saturday. And she needs a new one. Crap. Spending $4000 on a car that I just spent money on is not my idea of a fun day. No worries. IT'S COVERED!!!

Praise God for dealerships that make you haggle hard but then take care of you when you need them and they need to protect their reputation. So, I was thinking about it. What if we had just picked it up from a private seller? Or from one of those sketch little tiny places? What if it wasn't covered? I'd be in a craptastic place. Then I remembered when we bought the condo and on my first entry as an owner I walked into a water heater that was spurting boiling hot water all over MY NEW FLOOR! No worries. Covered. Warranty. That my realtor just threw into the contract for good measure. Praise God for realtors that cover your ass because you're so bogged down in paperwork that you don't even really remember what your name is, just that your signature looks like a long line with a loop 2/3 of the way through and another big one at the end.

Which made me think about wedding insurance. People talk about it, but does anyone ever actually buy it? Perhaps I should buy it in light of my history of major purchases and bad things happening. Boo on reality.

The Wedding is Taking Over My Life...

... and my condo. The wedding "stuff" consists of boxes and boxes of candles, vases, hurricanes, pretty papers, stamps, ink, tools, styrofoam and more crap that I will fashion into beautiful things! Well, I hope!

It started with a few things and I didn't have a particular "area" for it because there wasn't that much of it. Then, there was more of it. If it was just me in the condo, I don't think there would be a problem.

I know where I keep all the stuff... even if it is all over the place. I like to be able to see things. Unfortunately for me, my fiance is a piler. He doesn't want to see it all, he wants things to be neat and clean. Yet, there is no method to his madness. He grabs and he piles. In no particular order. While things look nice and clean, you can't find ANYTHING because there are important papers under the microwave in a pile (under the microwave... that's a good storage area.)

We needed a system.

First he "gave" me a box. Then I overflowed the box. Then I got the kitchen table. Then I overflowed the kitchen table. So I put the extenders into the table and things are looking good! I now have under the table, on to off the table and am slowly taking over the entry way :-)

1 Potato, 2 Potato, 3 Potato 4

It's all in the details. The itty bitty little things that could just be borrowed from the venue or simply printed and thrown into a stand. It is these little things that make a nice event a stunning event.

I have become obsessed with these details. Why is everything becoming so... invovled?

So, table numbers... couldn't be simple! I bought wooden numbers from Micheals, painted them with some wall paint leftover from the time we painted the living room, screwed in an eye hook and then hot glued millions of tiny beads all over.

I'm going to hang them from one of the branches of our centerpiece. Simple, easy, but not crazy time-consuming or annoying!

On a DIY Roll

I want to incorporate our logo in as many ways as possible without being a crazy person. It's just so cute! I also knew that I didn't want to spend a TON of money having everything personalized with custom artwork. That's silly for a fancy "H". Even if it is a J and a C and an H and perfect.

So I bought some circular styrofoam at Micheals, blew up our logo on the company copier and traced it on to the styrofoam. Then I, very nicely, asked Chris to cut it out with a box cutter. And by "very nicely", I mean Chris took it from me after he was afraid I was going to cut all my fingers off.

Be forewarned if you are going to try this... it will break... many times. But no worries, it is easily fixed with toothpicks and a hot glue gun!

When I got it all back in one piece I wrapped it with ribbon, then with floral wire. It made it real easy to attach it to the wreath without looking crazy.

I'm going to attach either a few orchids or a casablanca lily on the top left, hang them from the reception doors and admire my handiwork :-)

Practice Makes Perfect

One more thing knocked off the list... well, two if you're being sassy! Trial & booking a hairstylist. Done!

What do you think?

Invites are O-U-T!

The invites are out!

And yet, I feel mixed about it. I thought I would be giddy and excited and thrilled and a feeling of reality would wash over me. But instead I picked a fight with the FI and stomped to the mail box on my way to work to shove them in before slamming the door shut. I even pouted a little bit.

I had a vision of how I wanted it to go. Well, there was my first vision and my second vision. And then there was reality.

Vision 1: I take them to the post office and a man with white gloves takes each one individually, lovingly, and caresses them and appreciates all of the detail and the love that went into each one of them. There might even be some classical music playing in the background. Perhaps an angel or two singing "Hallelujah" I spent so much time and energy on each one it felt so good to have someone else appreciate them as much as I do!

Reality Check 1: No one, ESPECIALLY, the post office workers care that much about my invitation.

Vision 2: FI and I walk to the mail box together, giddy and excited about sharing our wedding with those that we love. He video tapes the whole thing for our wedding video and we are silly and laughing and so excited that reality is hitting.

Reality Check 2: See Reality Check 1... this includes your fiance.

Reality: We can't do it after work because it's dark outside. So I have to wake him up and he's groggy and can't find the tape and I'm late for work and frustrated now. So we stomp to the box and I chuck them in and then I cry in frustration and my poor fiance looks at me with those wide deer eyes that scream "What happened?!"

I think I didn't want to let those invitations go. Not because that makes it real. But because I poured myself into each and every one of them to go chuck them in a box. Boo. On the other hand, it feels like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. Another piece of the puzzle that fits right into the grand scheme. Feels good.

Silver Lining: now RSVP's come back and that's going to be exciting!

Gimme a Break... Gimme a Break...

Sometimes you just need a break. A break from work. A break from wedding. A break from those that you love. A break from LIFE!

I needed a break. I've been at a breaking point and before I snapped I needed to just stop. I've been getting frustrated beyond belief. Over stupid tiny itty bitty little things. So Saturday I called up one of my lovely 'maids and we had a fantastic brunch in Hollywood. And it was just what I needed. I feel recharged, re-energized and ready to move forward with work, wedding, love and life.

I think we sometimes forget that if we don't nurture ourselves, we're going to lose it. If we don't spend some time away from it all it's all going to fall away from us. And it's so much harder to pull it together once you've spilled it all over the place. Agree?

After brunch I even spent a little bit of money on something Non-Wedding Related. WHAT!? It's ok, I've been lusting after a beautiful pair of Nine West Mary Janes that are just the most adorable thing I've ever seen. I saw them months ago when they were full price... $90... and I couldn't justify it. I already had wedding shoes, I couldn't match my dress for the rehearsal dinner becaue I don't have one yet. It would just be splurge and I couldn't do it. But on Saturday they were on SALE at only $39!!! How could I not?! And they're just so cute. And comfy. And they make me happy. It's almost like that eBay commercial "Win Victoriously" or something. It does feel so much better when you win it. And I feel like I won ;-)

And now it's back to work, wedding, love & life and I'm smiling and excited and bubbly with my fancy red peep-toe pumps :-)

What do you do to get away from it all?

I Know There Was Something I Was Supposed To Do...

But I don't know what it is. I know that I should have approximately 193,459,395,204 things on my to do list, but I don't really. Only 64 days to go. Why don't I have stuff to do? I like to think it's because I am a well trained, non-procrastinating type that stays on top of things. But, I know that I was supposed to do something, I forgot to write it down, and now I can't thing of that thing that I was supposed to do.

This is why I keep not 1, not 2, but three to do lists. There's the green notebook with blank pages and areas to put random pieces of paper. I jot down long term thoughts in this notebook... things that I don't need now, but know I will need in the future. The music list for our wedding video is in there... as I think of a song I jot it down. It will be there when I need it! (I will look stunningly prepared. woo.) The next list is brand new. It's a white notebook with each page associated with one week. I put things that I know I will have to do at a certain time in this notebook. I know that on December 28 I need to order the dark chocolate covered hazelnuts for our wedding. I drool just thinking about how yummy they are... but its' on the list, so I don't have to think about them until December 28. The third list is my to go list. It's on my Black Jack and it's actually twelve or so lists. Things I think of when I'm on the go. My grocery lists, my Target lists, another To Do List, etc. etc. I should probably transfer these lists to something more hardware inspired.

I'm not sure what I would do without lists. My brain can't keep all the stuff rolling around. It must be on paper. Ohhh, which reminds me, I have a fourth lists, it's next to my bed, a beautiful little pad with a 1950's style woman with a caption "Why yes, I am overqualified." (I actually bought it for a girlfriend of mine but decided I loved it {bad gift giver}. She's a stunningly smart woman. Right after college graduation, spending so much time being smart and colleg-y decided to scrap it all and stay at home to raise her two little girls. She always jokes that her parents must be so proud that she spent so much time being smart and now cleans up poop for a living. ha!) I put the pad to good use though, I jot down my thoughts that occur in that not-quite-sleep-but-not-quite-awake time.

My favorite part about lists is the marking off the list part. There's such a sense of accomplishment when you have that visual moment of pushing the pen through the words to note that you finished something. And when you finish off a whole list... well... that's just magic!

What Kind of Groom Do You Have?

I've noticed that, as with everything wedding realted, there are many different kinds of grooms that your fiancee can choose to be. We get to decide if we're going to be a laid back bride or a bridezilla. Grooms kind of get the same option.





They can be super involved. Really seeing the wedding day as a whole as something that they are truly invovled in. They call vendors and set up meetings and think about details. There are two people planning this wedding and I think that's nice. However, then you get two minds and if those two minds don't think exactly alike (and how weired would that be!) then you can get into some trouble. Arguments about white versus ivory buttercream. Who cares?!





Then there's the other one... The groom from the other end of the spectrum that really doesn't care at all. He will do whatever his bride tells him to and really just wants to know what to wear and where to show up. While there's significantly less head butting with this groom, a bride can feel lonely and overwhelmed. Taking everything on for a massive event by herself.

I have a hybrid. A mix of both grooms. He wants to be the first one. He really truly does. But in actuality, he's the second one. He doesn't really care and doesn't really know how to care and be involved. However, when decisions are made, he feels left out. He doesn't want to do the research and he doesn't want to do the work, but he wants veto power. On everything. Wrong.



How do you create a hybrid that works?

The Bridal Beautifying Ritual

I've noticed that whenever you mentioned that something you are buying is for a wedding, the price suddenly seems to sky rocket? There was a fabulous video on youtube that I can't find right now. A couple walks into a bakery to buy a wedding cake. The groom never says it's for a wedding and she shows them a beautiful white cake and quotes them $50. When the bride mentions her wedding, the baker pulls out the same cake with a ribbon and quotes them $200. Because this is a "wedding cake". The groom wants the regular cake and the bride collapses in a fit of tears that she MUST have the WEDDING cake. They walk out with the quadruple priced "wedding" cake. Why? Because brides are dumb enough to pay it!


That's why I furiously shake my fist in the air whenever I look at Hair and Make Up websites! Why is that a bride's hair and make-up will cost in the ballpark of $400, but a bridesmaid is only $100? Is there a significantly less amount of time and energy spent? Or are they just not as special? But really, who in their right mind would pay $400 for a 'maid to look fancy?! I adore my girls, I will not pay $2400 for their hair and make-up. But I might pay $600. It's my most special, most amazing, day ever and I want to be the most beautiful version of myself that there ever was. But is it worth $400?


Stepping off my soapbox.


It's just very frustrating.


In other news, I leave you with some hair inspiration.

*All Images from The Knot, except as noted.

Mrs.Pootikins Knot Bio

Darcy Miller, MS Weddings, Blog

Sometimes Doing No Research is Good

I did nearly zero research for Chris' wedding band. My lovable ADD ridden fiancee shouldn't have too many options, so I only gave him one. Go to Icing on the Ring downtown and pick something. I barely even research the place. It came so incredibly and highly recommend from multiple brides on The Knot that I knew I could trust them. And plus, downtown is so overwhelming. All the people. You can choose among approximately 500,000 jewelers. No joke. And then each store has hundreds of rings. Chris got one store with a couple hundred rings!

And it was the best choice we ever made!

I had to work one Saturday, so I sent Chris down to look around by himself. He choose a few that he really liked and then I went back with him the next week to decide for sure. This place has an AMAZING 20% off sale twice a year. I planned it so we were there on their 20% sale day! WOOP!

Their customer service is extraordinary. There prices super low (or so I've heard from folks who comparison shop).

We decided to get an engraving. We got our H monogram and the wedding date. But Chris wanted it to be super special, so it's a mirror image. Why? I don't know. So instead of 01.19.08 we wanted 80.P1.10. But we accidently wrote 80.P1.01. And APPROVED IT!!! About a month later, when the ring had come in, but before it was engraved, Raffi called me.

Raffi: You're getting married 01.19.08, right?
Me: YES!
Raffi: You don't want the mirror image to ready 10.19.08, right?
Me: NOOOOO!

They caught it before we did! But when we went to pick it up the next week, it was wrong! We were getting married october 19, 2008. They fixed it free of charge and within a few days! I also got the posts changed on my earrings and changed one pair from gold to white gold. They look fantastic.

I'm an Icing on the Ring convert and will recommend them until I'm blue in the face. I've already sent along another bride-to-be with a $50 off coupon. Want one? I'll send it over!

My Favorite Producer Produces Me

Chris is a Casting Director/Producer. Basically, his job is to find the craziest, most extreme, most ridiculous, amazing people to exploite themselves on reality television. He spends most of his days in interviews, coaxing people out of the shells (or sometimes putting them back in!)

So, our wedding video & wedding slideshow are going to have a unique feel in that they will be very television-esque. He is currently uploading/downloading/importing/exporting/storing/etc. the tons of video that we've taken from our wee days in high chairs to current day. And there's lots of it! So much that he NEEDED to buy a new hard drive, upgrade his memory and buy a bunch of other crap that makes no sense to me. Oh yeah, and it's a "wedding expense". Ha!

This weekend we started with the interviews. You know before Biggest Loser where they have the home tapes and then the snippets of the Loser Hopeful, off center, talking about themselves. We did that yesterday. It's really hard! Much much much harder than it looks. He asks a question, then I respond (not looking at the camera... it's really hard not to look at it!) using his question to begin my answer.

Chris: What do you love about your fiancee?
Me: He's so amazing to just be...
Chris: No, say "I love my fiancee because he's so amazing..."
Me: BLAHHHHHHHHH.

And you don't really think about why you love people. You love them for them. My brain was a big empty container with no words to put together into formidable sentences.

Me: I love my fiancee because...err... he's... umm... good to... uhh... be with.

On the other hand, it was amazing to see what he does with all that time that he's not with me. His job is challenging, fun, creative, interesting and soooo much better than mine!

I can't wait to see the finished product.

Crissy Farah is a Genius

I'd never heard of Boudoir shoots before. I had no idea what they were. Then like so many other things that I was blissfully unaware of, The Knot came along and shed light on an amazing piece of art. And Crissy is the genius behind it in LA. She didn't create it, but she's constantly perfecting it.

I gave her a call in September and we set the date for November 5. I knew I didn't want to go to a hotel and do the sexy I'm-naked-under-these-sheets peek. I wanted something exotic and different. I wanted to go outside!!! So we did. We met at El Matador State Beach and had a fantastic time. This woman is amazing. I felt so incredibly comfortable and not the least bit awkward... except that I'm not really all about the sexy... so that took some pushing and prodding from her, but I got there. (Suck-Arch-Push).

I'll make a MyPublisher book and give them to Chris at our last dinner together before the family arrives. I hope he loves them as much as I do!

Where did September go? And October?

... And it's the middle of November?! Holy Crap! I'm not going to lie to you, I kind of forgot about my little blog project in the mayhem that has become my life. All of that wedding laziness that I was feeling has completely gone by the wayside and with 68 days to go it's in full swing.

Invitations were perfected, printed, assembled, addressed & are awaiting delivery to the post office. I thought I would be SOOO ready to just kick them off the balcony and hope that the post man would be by to pick them up. After spending hours and hours and then a few more hours I'm not really ready to let them go. I love them. I'm afraid that the post office is going to take them and do something bad to them... like fold them or bend them. If I could hand deliver them I might seriously consider it.

However, I decided to splurge and buy some seriously adorable custom stamps from Zazzle.com. Now that I've paid 76 cents for something that is worth 58 cents (Chris isn't quite sure how I got duped into that... it's freakin' cute ok) I feel that I must get my values worth. They will be going to the post office tomorrow!